I woke up totally out of sorts yesterday morning, jumped on the computer and ended up being on it for hours before I completed the normal things one does in the morning like shower and dress.
Since the operation I have been wearing the special post surgery recovery bra I bought from Masterton (in the Senior Moments to Cancer Brain chapter). I laundered it once in the bathroom sink and dried it overnight on the heated towel rail, but I was desperate to give it a proper wash. So yesterday was the day, but I only had the one of those bras, so I had to try one of my normal ones back on for the first time since the surgery.
For all my angst over my changed shape, and I can see a definite difference, I put this bra on and the swelling is still such that I more than filled the old bra and I guess, outside my clothes, no-one would have noticed the difference, for a while yet anyway. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I had a laugh. Crying can come later, for this part of the grief anyway. I had already shed more than a few tears in the earlier part of the morning when I was feeling out of sorts.
So, fortified with the notion of a near normal shape, I ventured out, with Peter to do the supermarket shopping and then later in the afternoon to the local New Rags Market, a Christmas showcase for local arts and craft, and I enjoyed spending a little bit of money on entirely frivolous things, although there was a bit of Christmas shopping slotted in there too.
This morning I actually managed a sleep-in – two hours later than normal, although the last couple of hours were punctuated by pings from Peter’s Ipad as he played on his new Sudoku App. I guess he must have solved quite a few of them judging by the number pings 🙂